Rest in peace

We lost another good man a short time back. 5th funeral this year for us plus our van dying in the driveway; so considerate of her not to die when we were at the cottage. We are getting our fair share. One of my acquaintances told me he doesn't go to funerals anymore. Myself, I enjoy the stories and memories being shared, besides death is the only sure thing in life. Why does it scare so many.

Since I believe there is more to us than this existence on earth, I do find it less daunting than some. It is curious to me that die hard Christians (no irony here!) resist death so much. So many sit in church every Sunday but don't actually have faith that their souls will be taken care of. It is this unknown, unconfirmed realm. Who would have faith when there is no proof? Oops that is the whole point of faith isn't it?

I guess for me my chosen profession requires a lot of faith, everyday, that all will fall into place as it should; that if this is what I am meant to do then what I need will be provided somehow. There is a lot of practicing of letting go. I used to be quite the control freak now that is wanning. So maybe all of this makes it easier for me. When I say goodbye to someone I love, I keep my warm memories and let them rest in peace.

8 Days A Week

My daughter points out to me that the Beatles have made a mistake as there are only 7 days in the week. Ah the mind of a child is so literal and things are so obvious. I did explain to her the poetry in that phrase. She nodded her head, eyes looking toward the sky saying, "Okay, okay."

Is it only my child? No. I see so many students, teenagers and such on whom poetry and the double entendre so masterfully applied in the past is just lost. There are so many times a student has returned from an assignment to say, "I don't understand what they are saying in this song." I think I will go teach a course on this subject for wannabe singers. As much as I am an advocate to say what you mean and mean what you say, I believe the best songs are those that can be interpreted from more than one perspective. It gives power to the singer and to the listener to make it their own. It is how a good lyric can reach out to so many different people and keep them listening 8 days a week.

Getting back on the horse

Sometimes we can forget why were are here. We forget what brought us to this place. We get up and go through the routine of everyday redundancies. Woven through every moment we experience, we can choose to see as redundant there are treasures: joy, love, laughing, even crying with someone near reminding us we are not alone.

There are many moments where I feel alone. It may not be founded but I fell it as a truth when it overcomes me. All the logic I throw at it is futile then, a treasure. A spark ignites and then the wick is lit and off I go; I’m back in the saddle again.

Let’s be grateful for the people who surround us and remind us of who we are. I certainly am.

And the lingering effects are…

So last night I sat at my desk and I listened to some choice pieces of music while I worked at getting an announcement out for a collaborative effort: Grapes & Grooves™ .

I had not done that in months. Yes I am ashamed to say I forgot to enjoy listening to music by myself. Well all this to say that today I had this really good day. I was very productive and was able to think clearly. I dealt with a bunch of stuff I had been putting off. I talked to people I needed to talk to. All in all I was in a better state of mind.

My advice is listen to something that makes you happy and be happy. It is a good thing.

Words, melodies and the stillness of night

At this moment, I am listening to a lovely piece of music. I find the lyrics profound and touching. The melody is troubling but somehow liberating and soothing. It is a delicious moment.

I am a night person and I like to be up when everyone is asleep. I enjoy the quiet of night, the glow of a full moon and the sound of Canada geese flying overhead at 2AM. Maybe it is because life is so full of action, tasks, buzzing Blackberry’s and email notifications, kids laughing, husband beckoning and thoughts endlessly coming. The calmness is precious.

Musicians know that the space between the notes is as much a part of the music as the notes themselves. I love that space. When the tune is fast paced, that small space builds a rush and excites us; in a ballad it is the very breath of emotion. “Sigh”

Next time it is late put on a favourite tune, listen to the spaces and breathe. Mmmmm. Now that was good.

Perspective

When I was out walking this morning, I remarked to myself what a pretty view I was taking in. I was on a hill; what I could see was broad. I know there are many days where I do not capture this landscape even if I am walking along the same path. If I am with my children, for example, the perspective gets very intimate. What I see is only relative to this bubble we are in. If I am thinking of the future and projects I am working on, I tend to look up more and can see far and wide. There are also days when I am just admiring as many details as I can: flowers, birds, people and things. It is my opinion that it is a good thing to have an awareness of the different perspectives we have to see the world. Moreover become aware that we can choose to change how we see the world around us. Now there is an interesting thought to put into practice. We can always find something good to reflect upon. It is just a matter of deciding to open our eyes to what is really there, not just our expectation of the world around us.

The arrival of spring

I do enjoy the crunch of dry snow under my feet and the purplish light of those short winter days but would gladly invite into my life a gig that takes us to a warm place for January and February. However with spring the garden is always a source of inspiration. After the cold slumber of winter, awakens life everywhere we look. We see proof that life is renewable, that something is being transformed even when we see nothing above ground. We even see how "whatever we sow in the ground must die before it is given new life" as the seed you sow is not what comes out of the ground but a new creation entirely.

Well that's it isn't it: creation, orchestrated by God. We are part of that. Somehow our ego allows us to presume we can be great creators too. Maybe we can. I had a wonderful teacher, Kenny Werner, who attempted to get us to be a vehicle for the music that was already within us. It is based on the ability to let go of our ego even for just a few moments and allow the creative force to come through us. I have had that experience on occasion. There are nights when you couldn’t hit a wrong note if you tried. Where everything comes out sounding amazing and the feeling is connected with something greater than me.

A few nights ago I went to see Andras Schiff play three Beethoven pieces at the National Arts Centre in Ottawa. He was alone at the piano. His years of study, practice and dedication combined with talent were our guarantee that each piece would be rendered justly. As I am a visual person, I always like to watch the performer's faces. I took out my little binoculars and set my eyes upon the artist. I saw it. With my own eyes I saw the expression of pure joy radiating from his being, coming through the music. All his enjoyment within the moment brought me to elation. Even as I sit at my computer and return to that memory I feel all of that beauty fill me up. Was that creation? Was it the vehicle for creation?

From many sources I am told to seize the day or more precisely enjoy the moment I am in. So I go out and admire what new life is emerging in the garden. I open the screen so my son and I can touch the buds and tender leaves on the lilac outside my window. I spend more time laughing and do my best to find compassion within my self for all of those I meet. A new me is emerging after the darkness of winter? To quote Paul Johnson author of Creators, “It is a privileged life no matter how hard and arduous a process it may be.”

Penny for your thoughts

What would our world be like if Picasso or Rembrandt or Van Gogh could not have paint? What if Mozart had not had access to a violin or piano, Shakespeare no pen, paper or the ability to write? All evolved culture has defined itself through art. Museums display exhibits of civilisations past where we find art and paintings and sculptures and writings and letters and beautifully hand crafted pieces of furniture.

Today the majority of artists can not live from their art. Hordes of actors, musicians, painters go out into the world to get the day job that allows them to feed themselves and their families but kills their creativity. Ah the catch 22 of it.

Farmers have this great thing it is a tax credit just for being a farmer. The government recognises that being a farmer is hard and important so they give them a break right up front. No such thing exists for artists yet would we survive a day without art? Furthermore half the time people think we spend our time doing nothing. People don’t realise that if you have managed to scrape an existence in this world as an artist then you must be good at something. There are many who don’t manage and are very good in art but not in business.

Not so long ago I was sitting at the bar having a drink on my break with my accompanist and the bartender. We were chatting about the artist thing. My companion pointed out that we could do his job tomorrow but it would take years of practice for him to step into our jobs. People heard music and gathered around. We played requests. We kept the patrons entertained. Yet at the end of the night chances are the bartender went home with more in his pockets than we did.

Faith and Friendship

Today I went to the funeral of a dear friend. It was the first time I had been asked to sing at a funeral by the person who was dying. I was proud to have such a wonderful friend and would have done anything for her.

There are moments in all our lives, no matter what we do, that there is comfort in knowing someone out there believes in what we do. It can be a source of great strength and moreover when that someone is not a relative and has nothing to gain by our success. In moments where I may doubt myself I am thankful to have those pillars around me.

My friend was a true friend of the arts. She was very supportive and surrounded herself with beauty. One son is a wonderful photographer and I found out today an eloquent writer/speaker; another son a collector of technologies preserving history. One daughter-in-law a beautiful harpist, the other is a creative fabric artist. Whenever I would visit her in the town where she lived I was welcomed in the warmest fashion. She would inquire about how my music career was going with the keenest interest. The sparkle in her eyes and the radiance of her smile would top me up and keep my faith alive. After all, a life in art is about faith. Faith drove me here and faith keeps me here; I am grateful to my profession as it obliges me to examine what I believe in on a regular basis.

So I raise a glass to my friend. I will keep her with me; love her always with the knowledge that my life is forever changed from knowing her.

Artists are entrepreneurs

Personally I think all artists need to understand that their survival depends on their being able to develop the entrepreneur part of themselves. If unable to do so then you must make an alliance. Either way the notion of surrounding yourself with good people can not be understated. Being self employed never meant doing everything all the time by yourself. It simply means taking responsibility for what happens to you.

Being self employed also means having the ability to see what you do as a service or product. This detachment affords a different perspective and may give you a new outlook on what you do. Certainly I find it useful when meeting a prospect to show up with my portfolio to discuss the range of what I do. When things work out it is because there is a fit between what they are looking for and what you offer. It is a good idea to find out what your prospects have in mind before you meet with them.

If you want to get more work and you don’t know how, get help, hire a sales coach. I have an excellent one: Claude de Rouyn who has been instrumental in tuning up the way I work and the tools I use so that I am more effective. Around us we may have many people who are willing to contribute to our success: people who can write or edit information we distribute, graphic artists, photographers, a friend who works in marketing. Although an option for some, we don’t always have to surrender everything over to an agent. A good friend or sibling can be a perfect manager if they really believe in what you are doing and are willing to work effectively.

If you dread doing what you have to do to get work in your art, just imagine every step takes you closer to what you love to do. The freedom and flexibility I have contributes to my creativity and that makes me happy. Isn’t happiness what it is all about?

How did I get here anyway?

Today as I went about my business, and I do mean business, I pondered on the whole picture of making a living doing what you love. I remember my husband (before he was my husband) would say to me when I was toying with the idea of doing music full time, "If you can think of anything else you would rather do, do that instead." He was not saying it to discourage me but rather to fend off the potential, "why did I waste my time" feeling that can come from the disappointment of not having a career like Celine Dion or Michael Bubblé. Lucky me I could not think of anything I wanted to do more. More so I was willing to let go of a lot to let this piece of me flourish.

Today a good 13 years later there is still nothing I would rather do. Let’s be clear it isn't like I can't do anything. I worked in sales and in marketing; I am a chocolatier; I make beautiful soaps coveted by my dear friends and no one refuses a meal at my house because I learned to cook because I love to eat and feed people.

Do I envy Celine Dion and Michael Bubblé? Of course any independent singer or artist would appreciate the conditions in which they are able to work at their craft. For those of us who struggle it can seem pretty attractive but I also appreciate the freedom of being self-employed that comes with the responsibility of providing for myself. I don't have to be in front of 20,000 people to feel successful. Success can be as simple as seeing two people holding hands with a glimmer in their eyes as they walk out of your show. It is about sharing that gift we have with others. After all gifts are for giving I always say.

Ciao,

Bianca

In the beginning

Here I am writing my first Blog. I use technology as a tool but was tempted to use technology as a means of expression.

First some back story to explain the title of my blog. I am the torched one as I am a singer, a torch singer some might say. I have been singing for a long time and have been a full time musician since 2002. It is no exageration to say that it can be a challenge. Here in Canada, culture was an important element in defining who we are. Originally I am from Winnipeg where there are more artists per capita than any other city in Canada. There is always live music somewhere and theatre and the ballet manages to survive just fine. It makes for an interesting place to grow up.

Often we hear about the status of artists in this and other countries. It is a challenge for many to survive and most need to keep a day job or be married to someone who has a day job to get by. I hope this blog becomes somewhat of a forum for my fellow musicians, painters, actors, sculptors, etc. to express their state of affairs and how they manage to live their art and their lives.

Ciao,

Bianca